If you’re like many Americans you’re probably married or hope to be one day. Some people wait a long time before they say ‘I do’ while others are barely out of high school. One thing every couple has in common is that they’re susceptible to divorce. Nearly half of all marriages end. So, how do you know if your relationship will last? Here are some warning signs that it might not.
You’re Unhappy
You will inevitably have times of unhappiness in any relationship; however, you should have more good times than bad. If you notice that most interactions with your partner end in shouting, crying, or even indifference, you might not be very happy. An uncommunicative and unreliable partner can also signal that your marriage might not be a happy one.
You Fight
All couples fight, but if you can’t have a conversation without fighting you might not be as compatible as you thought. If you can’t agree on anything, even the simplest things, that could be another red flag. There could be a stressful situation, such as money problems, pulling you apart. Try talking about it or seeing a therapist to help with the communication. If nothing seems to work the circumstances may be out of your control.
You Don’t Spend Time Together
If you’re busy with work and kids and other responsibilities it can be hard to spend time with your spouse. However, if you don’t even want to spend time together there might have a bigger problem. If you find yourself avoiding each other and not wanting to tell each other things about your lives it’s probably a sign that something’s wrong.
You’re Like Roommates
Do you and your partner sleep in separate rooms? Do you notice if they go on a trip? Sometimes people simply coexist because they have children together or are afraid to move on.
Others Notice
Your friends and family may notice that you and your partner seem to be having trouble. If they frequently ask you if everything is okay or if they even urge you to leave it may not be a bad idea to ask yourself why. Sometimes close friends and family can see things more clearly than the person who’s in the middle of it.
You Have a Gut Feeling
Have you ever just had a gut feeling about something? Sometimes your body responds to a bad situation in a way your mind can’t. If you sense that something is wrong it is important you don’t ignore it. Question it instead.
You’ve Changed
Many couples get married when they’re very young. In the 50’s, men were an average age of 23 and women were an average age of 20 when they got married. In 2004, most men were 27 and most women were 26. A lot can happen in your twenties (or even in your life) that can shape the person you become in the future. You may want a family while your partner doesn’t or one person could want a different career in a new place. If you and your partner no longer value or want the same things you may find yourself torn about what to do next.
Infidelity
Couples therapists report that nearly half of their caseloads are due to infidelity. It can be a common problem in marriages. It even accounts for 21.6% of divorces. If you or your partner are cheating, you might want to seek help to understand why.
You Have Divorce Papers
If you’ve already spoken to a divorce lawyer or have divorce papers ready that could be the biggest warning sign of all. Some people consult with divorce lawyers when they’re not sure if they want a divorce but others might be sure if they’ve prepared divorce papers. Preparing divorce papers is a big step but something might be holding you back from following through. Perhaps you still love your spouse, you’re hoping they will change, you have children together, or you’re scared of the road ahead.
There can be many signs that a marriage is in trouble. If you’re unsure about what to do, you can seek divorce help in many places like friends, family, therapists, or a divorce law firm. However, only you and your partner can truly know if or when you’re ready to call it quits.
